i woke up today from a very funny dream. i can't seem to remember the characters of that dream but as far as my memory is concern, it is indeed funny. as my consciousness come back to its normal state, i heard a soothing music from our neighbors' radio as it plays: "baby can't you believe that its true, dreams do come true, over joy, over love, over me..." that's odd. but kinda funny. so i woke up in the good side of my bed.
i want to start this blog by looking back from the past. who can forget that heart breaking incident i have had? (those who read my posts) the love stories that i often wrote and posted on blog site. now im confused how to relay the story. remember the incident where i left a certain bf because i chose to be with the man whom my heart desires? well, i later found out that the man i chose was a complete FAKE. a FRAUD. that man broke up with me on our second month-sary, saying that he's married and has two kids here in the Philippines. imagine my surprise. and still, a few weeks later, i still didn't believe him because i can sense that he is after all lying. he has no choice but to show me some pictures of his "daughters" and his "wife" and so, with no other choice, i let him go. i bid him farewell and let go. in an instant? NO. its not that easy. though i never really hated him because i know, maybe a some point chatting is the only means he can find a moment of pleasure. though, fooling innocent people is not an excuse for an anti boredom management. i wanted to hate him, but i can't. a certain brother in the clan consoled me, saying that i should be thankful because he told me the truth on the earlier part of the relationship. i should hate him if it took him ages to tell me the truth about his family. so, i moved on. though i so hate being involved with a family man, i learned to forgive him (though he never said how sorry he was for fooling me, for making me look pretty much stupid). i bid him luck and may he found happiness. so i let him go. with no anger. no hatred. no love. no emotions. no nothing. plain goodbye.
a few weeks ago, i and a good man got together again. though it wasn't easy for us to be together again, because of the bad incident that had happened before, we tried to patch things and made up with a decision that we should make our relationship work this time, that it should be true and it should be for real and it should be with total honesty. we need to concentrate more on ourselves so that our individual differences don't clash often. day by day, we talk over and try to get to know each other more better, though we're is still on the "thinking-over" stage.
a night ago, that Mr. Fake, sent me a private message asking me how i am, i told him that my relationship with my present boyfriend is still shaky and i don't know if my boyfriend is really ready to commit into a relationship because he is still in doubt of my love for him. though i said, we're giving ourselves time to think and make a decision.
we are having a good time talking since i told him, we should end up as friends since we had our fun shared together. he agreed and i thought its better that way. until he opened up a topic concerning a net-girl-best-friend of his. that later became his girlfriend when i left him because of his stupidity. the girl came up to him and said: "you know? i so hate you, you're so numb", little did he know that the girl has fallen in love with him because of their closeness. she fell in love with him slowly and day by day. they became lovers in a instant. we used to talk about this girl because i and that Mr. Fake, never kept a secret from each other. he told me everything. we used to argue about that girl. i told him, i guess you're in love with that girl and you're just in denial stage. and when you found yourself more in love with her than being in love with me, just tell me. and he just said: "you know me. a friend will always be a friend. no more. no less. i am more concern with our friendship. and we should keep ourselves that way. she will always be JUST a friend." and so i believed him.
to continue that incident a night ago, i told Mr. Fake how much i regret leaving my boyfriend and chose him. though Mr. Fake was my boyfriend before, i said: i started to loving the guy long way back. we we're talking as if we're good friends. after all, he's the one who left me and said he's married. he said, he's hurt because i told him how in love i am with my present boyfriend. and i just said: what the heck? c' mon, no more lies and we should be happy instead.
then he started saying: i am back with her (meaning, the net-girl-BEST-friend/present girl friend). and i was like what the f***?!? i don't want to hear any more lies and told him to stop sending me email, stop texting me. stop calling me. stop sending me private messages. and he should never communicate with me anymore in what ever forms. i erased him on my list and on my address book. his number on my phone was deleted. his text messages that i often collects were also deleted. all the emails was deleted.
i was in the middle of my sleep when my phone rang. it was an international call and i was like, no one calls me internationally other than him. (can i type this in Filipino?)
as i said hello, he said: si ***** to... and i was like? "alam ko kung sino ka, bat ka tumawag? diba sinabi ko ng wag na wag kang tatawag? hindi mo ba talaga ako maintindihan? bobo ka ba?" and he said: "nagtataka lang naman ako bakit bigla kang nagalit ng sabihin kong nagkabalikan na kami ni ****?" and i was like: "ano pakelam mo? punyeta ka, mamatay kana sana. magsama kayo sa impyerno, wala kang pakelam kung magalit ako or ano man, punyeta ka, wag na wag ka ng tatawag" and i dropped that damn call.
you may be wondering why i am so damn affected. am not actually. i am just so damn MAD. why the heck did he broke up with me if he will just come back with that damn girl? i told him to tell me the truth about leaving me and he was like, i am married and all. why the hell can't he just tell me the truth that he has fallen in love with that bitch though he was in a relationship with me? i even told him before "if you love her more than you love me, tell me. i deserve to know the truth." i deserve to know the real story. and he was like, "im leaving you because im married. im not in love with her." what the fuck? and now, he proudly announced that they're back on each others' arms? what the hell? he should have told me that straight on my face long way back, i might have moved on silently and accepted the fact that he has already fallen out. but he lied to me. multiple times. he said: a friend will always be a friend, damn him. i wished he'd die. he deserves that for being such an asshole. i never hated anyone as much as i hated him now.
i never cursed anyone like this hard. i never wished anyone with bad omen before. i never liked "magmura" because it's so unethical. if you're a person with morales and ethics, patience must be controlled regularly no matter how hot and furious the argument may be. but in this case, nawala lahat ng inhibitions ko. nawala ang pose ko. damn you. sinira mo reputation ko. hmp.
bottom line: we all deserve to know the truth. the truth may hurt it can make you or break you but you can still carry on with life thinking you've known the truth. next: stick with what you're saying. word of honor counts a lot. if your man enough try to practice it.
and to HIM: damn you. go to hell.
PS: i would just like to say sorry if you have read not so nice words on this blog. i just want to pour out some damn emotions. now, i am fine.
PS2: hon ko... love you po. hahaha... nagpa cute bigla. haha =P
i want to start this blog by looking back from the past. who can forget that heart breaking incident i have had? (those who read my posts) the love stories that i often wrote and posted on blog site. now im confused how to relay the story. remember the incident where i left a certain bf because i chose to be with the man whom my heart desires? well, i later found out that the man i chose was a complete FAKE. a FRAUD. that man broke up with me on our second month-sary, saying that he's married and has two kids here in the Philippines. imagine my surprise. and still, a few weeks later, i still didn't believe him because i can sense that he is after all lying. he has no choice but to show me some pictures of his "daughters" and his "wife" and so, with no other choice, i let him go. i bid him farewell and let go. in an instant? NO. its not that easy. though i never really hated him because i know, maybe a some point chatting is the only means he can find a moment of pleasure. though, fooling innocent people is not an excuse for an anti boredom management. i wanted to hate him, but i can't. a certain brother in the clan consoled me, saying that i should be thankful because he told me the truth on the earlier part of the relationship. i should hate him if it took him ages to tell me the truth about his family. so, i moved on. though i so hate being involved with a family man, i learned to forgive him (though he never said how sorry he was for fooling me, for making me look pretty much stupid). i bid him luck and may he found happiness. so i let him go. with no anger. no hatred. no love. no emotions. no nothing. plain goodbye.
a few weeks ago, i and a good man got together again. though it wasn't easy for us to be together again, because of the bad incident that had happened before, we tried to patch things and made up with a decision that we should make our relationship work this time, that it should be true and it should be for real and it should be with total honesty. we need to concentrate more on ourselves so that our individual differences don't clash often. day by day, we talk over and try to get to know each other more better, though we're is still on the "thinking-over" stage.
a night ago, that Mr. Fake, sent me a private message asking me how i am, i told him that my relationship with my present boyfriend is still shaky and i don't know if my boyfriend is really ready to commit into a relationship because he is still in doubt of my love for him. though i said, we're giving ourselves time to think and make a decision.
we are having a good time talking since i told him, we should end up as friends since we had our fun shared together. he agreed and i thought its better that way. until he opened up a topic concerning a net-girl-best-friend of his. that later became his girlfriend when i left him because of his stupidity. the girl came up to him and said: "you know? i so hate you, you're so numb", little did he know that the girl has fallen in love with him because of their closeness. she fell in love with him slowly and day by day. they became lovers in a instant. we used to talk about this girl because i and that Mr. Fake, never kept a secret from each other. he told me everything. we used to argue about that girl. i told him, i guess you're in love with that girl and you're just in denial stage. and when you found yourself more in love with her than being in love with me, just tell me. and he just said: "you know me. a friend will always be a friend. no more. no less. i am more concern with our friendship. and we should keep ourselves that way. she will always be JUST a friend." and so i believed him.
to continue that incident a night ago, i told Mr. Fake how much i regret leaving my boyfriend and chose him. though Mr. Fake was my boyfriend before, i said: i started to loving the guy long way back. we we're talking as if we're good friends. after all, he's the one who left me and said he's married. he said, he's hurt because i told him how in love i am with my present boyfriend. and i just said: what the heck? c' mon, no more lies and we should be happy instead.
then he started saying: i am back with her (meaning, the net-girl-BEST-friend/present girl friend). and i was like what the f***?!? i don't want to hear any more lies and told him to stop sending me email, stop texting me. stop calling me. stop sending me private messages. and he should never communicate with me anymore in what ever forms. i erased him on my list and on my address book. his number on my phone was deleted. his text messages that i often collects were also deleted. all the emails was deleted.
i was in the middle of my sleep when my phone rang. it was an international call and i was like, no one calls me internationally other than him. (can i type this in Filipino?)
as i said hello, he said: si ***** to... and i was like? "alam ko kung sino ka, bat ka tumawag? diba sinabi ko ng wag na wag kang tatawag? hindi mo ba talaga ako maintindihan? bobo ka ba?" and he said: "nagtataka lang naman ako bakit bigla kang nagalit ng sabihin kong nagkabalikan na kami ni ****?" and i was like: "ano pakelam mo? punyeta ka, mamatay kana sana. magsama kayo sa impyerno, wala kang pakelam kung magalit ako or ano man, punyeta ka, wag na wag ka ng tatawag" and i dropped that damn call.
you may be wondering why i am so damn affected. am not actually. i am just so damn MAD. why the heck did he broke up with me if he will just come back with that damn girl? i told him to tell me the truth about leaving me and he was like, i am married and all. why the hell can't he just tell me the truth that he has fallen in love with that bitch though he was in a relationship with me? i even told him before "if you love her more than you love me, tell me. i deserve to know the truth." i deserve to know the real story. and he was like, "im leaving you because im married. im not in love with her." what the fuck? and now, he proudly announced that they're back on each others' arms? what the hell? he should have told me that straight on my face long way back, i might have moved on silently and accepted the fact that he has already fallen out. but he lied to me. multiple times. he said: a friend will always be a friend, damn him. i wished he'd die. he deserves that for being such an asshole. i never hated anyone as much as i hated him now.
i never cursed anyone like this hard. i never wished anyone with bad omen before. i never liked "magmura" because it's so unethical. if you're a person with morales and ethics, patience must be controlled regularly no matter how hot and furious the argument may be. but in this case, nawala lahat ng inhibitions ko. nawala ang pose ko. damn you. sinira mo reputation ko. hmp.
bottom line: we all deserve to know the truth. the truth may hurt it can make you or break you but you can still carry on with life thinking you've known the truth. next: stick with what you're saying. word of honor counts a lot. if your man enough try to practice it.
and to HIM: damn you. go to hell.
PS: i would just like to say sorry if you have read not so nice words on this blog. i just want to pour out some damn emotions. now, i am fine.
PS2: hon ko... love you po. hahaha... nagpa cute bigla. haha =P
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