This Is How The Story Ends

How many times did I tell my self that I have already moved on from what happened between me and that ex-boyfriend of mine? That I am over him, that all the things in the past doesn’t make sense anymore, because past is past.

Was I just lying to my self? Well, yeah! Call it defense mechanism or what… lets say… it took me 5 months to get over that denial stage. Yeah, you heard me right. It took me 5-long-months of waiting for something I don’t know. 5-long-months of being foolish for thinking that something, somewhere, somehow, things will get better and everything will be alright and back to normal. Little did I know and noticed that what I have been long waiting will never arrive. Never! Ever.

I don’t want to make this story long and dragging like the previous ones I used to do. To summarized it all. Here is how my story begins.

It was one Thursday night when I woke up from a long sleep. What happened that night was never a dream. It was all true. Yeah! The usual things happened; I ended up crying and sulking in my bed. I was trying so hard to comfort myself by embracing my pillow. Which, he gave me about 7 – 8 months ago. Trying so deeply hard not to think about the lies he told me before we broke up. Oh God! Why do I always have to end up like this?

Did it make you curious of what really happen that night? I just did found out that, he and his ex – girlfriend was back on each others arm. He never told me that fact vocally. I just found out. Well, let’s not dig in more.

Anyway, the next thing I knew was that it was the morning of Friday. My eyes were bulging from my over night cry. And yeah, it happened again. I ended up walking through the school alley, head’s down and walking straight directly at the school chapel. It wasn’t so long when I was already talking to Him and asking Him to give me courage and peace of mind to survive from the hardship that I was into. I’ve prayed intently and fervently. I poured out my tears and when I walked out in the chapel, I saw Belyn waiting for me. She embraced me and made me feel calm.

That was all worth the effort. Though martyrdom, in the name of “love”, lost me for 5 months, I am proud to say that I am TOTALLY over him.

Well, if you’ll ask me, if I am ready to commit into a new relationship again… well, I better PASS. Love is a thing not made especially for me. In year’s time, who can tell? Still, I am happy thinking that I can see the essence of love from my friends, my family, my relatives, and from God.

As the saying goes: love has it’s time, season and own reason. For now… this is how my story ends.