It was friday of last week when the result of the November 2008 Nursing Licensure Exam was released. My friend Belyn sent me an SMS about the result and she was sad to note that one of our dear friend Karen failed to pass the exam.
Few months before she finally hit the hot spot on the examination room, Karen and I had a little misunderstanding. She continuously sends me some quotable quotes through SMS and i asked her why hasn't she put on much effort and time to study her notes and instead kept herself busy sending messages. I told her that she should keep herself busy because the exam date is getting near and yet there are a lot of things to be studied upon. When all i do is put her spirit up, encouraged her to study and pass the local board with flying colors, i explained to her the difficulty of taking the locals in a third and nth time and that, if we, her friends was able to pass the local board in a single take, why cant she? after all, she was studious and likes to work hard when she wanted something for real, sadly though, she took my words differently. She said to me, in an offended manner, that, i should not talk to her that way because i am just one of those "lucky-ones" who passed the locals on a single take. Offended as i am, i defended myself and said to her: it wasnt just mere luck that made me what i am now. it wasnt luck that lead me to dream big. i worked my fat arse hard because i am aiming for a goal. a certain goal that is hard to reach. a goal that i should meet only once because God knows how low my self esteem was and if i will add another wound to the already bruised and altered ego, where will i be when i fail? if i fail the locals, i didnt just fail myself, i will fail the dreams of my mother who worked hard for me and the sweet dreams of my sisters who also worked hard to send me to a decent school way back in college, send me to a dignified review center, if i fail the exam, i didnt just failed simply, i failed hard because the dreams of the people who loved me has also failed. i explained everything to Karen, making her understand the feelings that i do not want her to feel. i dont want her to fail me and my expectations, because i know she can do better. she also defended herself by saying: she didnt went to a review center and if she will fail the local, she is ready to retake. i was shocked when she said those lines, i detest her for saying those words. the negative impact of her words made my day sick. i do not think that poverty has something to do in the later-on success in life. i also have other friends who failed to enroll in a review center because they are financially drained, but their lack of financial support didnt hinder their dream of becoming a nurse and passing the local once and for all. it didnt hinder them from reviewing twice as much. exterted twice the effort. read twice as much and thrice as hard. after our confrontation, we ended on a bad note.
So when the result came in that afternoon of february 20, Karen didnt inform me that she failed. instead, Belyn did. i texted Karen to condole her, telling her that the locals and being a nurse is not a race, there will always be next time. telling her this rubbish words aint therapeutic at all, so i added: but the next time around, i just hope, you'll work quadripple as much. she told me she regretted everything. darn! the coulda-woulda-shoulda of her life has begun, she even asked for the world to end because she is such a failure, she said. so i told her: I TOLD U SO. she needed to hear that.
regrets comes on the end part of each actions that we made that turned sour. when things turns good, we dont regret doing it. but when things turned sour, we regret it. mind over body works. think postive and you will reap positive results. aim high and dream big. believe that you can do it. because if others can, why cant you? its such a rubbish way to say: better luck next time. because the best time is now and the word better is NOW and LUCK is for those who play the lottery. the time is now and never later.
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