The story is about a love affair that blooms in a place where it is rare to find romantic interlude such as love.
THE HOSPITAL
I am 19 years old and is a student-nurse coming from a decent school in our small City. He, on the other hand, was a jobless, ill man at 30, confined in the hospital where I used to have my Pre–clinical exposure. I was then exposed and assigned at the Pediatric Ward, while he, as a patient, was confined at the Medicine Ward.
So, where does my story begins? It was the last week of my summer class when my father was hospitalized for having severe attacks of shortness of breaths and muscle pains. He has been diagnosed for having diabetes since 1986 and it has become chronic and worst as time passes by. When I was still having my pre-clinical exposure at the Pediatric Ward, at the end of m shift, I used to ask permission to my clinical instructor to allow me to visit my father in his room since it was just a block away.
When the summer class ended, I used to accompany my father in the hospital, most especially at night time. I tried my best to be with him as often as possible since I haven’t got loads of chance during the day.
One night when I was about to buy something in the hospital canteen, I have come to noticed that there’s a pair of eyes staring and looking at me so keenly. I didn’t take efforts to look back at the person, staring at me. My mind is too pre-occupied and is so busy thinking. I haven’t been able to take my final examination in my Health-Economics subject due to some schedule problems.
While my father is sound asleep in his bed, I didn’t have the heart to open the lights and continue writing my reflection in the article I have finished reading which is to be submitted before taking the exam. So what I did, I went out in the room and sat in an empty chair and put all my stuff’s in the table, adjacent to the nurses’ station. There’s this one man sitting in a chair in my left side, looking so rubbish and dressed in a blue shirt and a khaki shorts. I have then assessed that he “is” the patient, just merely looking at his hand which was still attached with a heplock (heparin lock). He was talking to a man, who, I guess, is his friend.
While I was so into my 3 page long reflection, the man seated in my left side said: “hello, excuse me miss, I didn’t mean to intrude, but can I ask you something?” when I looked at him, he was then alone and was staring at me so blankly and curiously. I nod my head as a sign of my answer. He gave me a mischievous smile and said: “from what school are you from?” “St. Mary’s College Sir” I replied. “Oh! I used to study there. But it was quite a long time ago” he then again said. Not trying to be rude I looked at him smiled and said: “okay”. I know the man is trying to have a decent conversation, but that just so happen that I badly needed to finish the reflection am writing. And I just can’t concentrate if he keeps on asking me questions. I directly said to him: “can I finish my project first before you interrupt?” he grinned and said: “okay”, and stood up, walking directly towards his room.
When he came back, I was finished with my 3 page reflection. He then again smiled and said: “finished?” I nod, put on my sweetest smile and said: “Yes I am! And thank God!” he stared at me and straightly said: “maybe now we can talk, I’m Oliver, what about you?” “Am Jet2, how long have you been here?” that simple chat started our endless question and answer and getting to know each other conversation. It was about
9:30pm
or so, when a friend of him arrived at the hospital to pay visit and brought some food since there has been a party. He excused himself and promised that he’ll be back the soonest possible. While doing nothing, I scanned my notes and re-read my notes to ensure that it is finely worked.
Out of nowhere, a boy approached me and said: “excuse me miss, Kuya sent me here to give you this” he was carrying with him a plate full of cake, spaghetti and fruit salad, and my face went red. I accepted the plate that the boy offered and said thank you. He smiled and said: “kuya wants to know if he can have your phone number?” then and there I thought, I didn’t know that the new trick in getting somebody’s number is through food. I just smiled and wrote my phone number in a piece of parchment and gave it to him. He said thanks and bid goodbye.
While sitting in the chair, I just can’t help but smile and analyze things. His trick really did work and it caught my attention. Now I know that a way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Ironic isn’t it? Moments later, Oliver came back and we started to chat again. We talked endlessly about life, school, politics, anything and almost everything under the sun.
THE SAD NEWS
Weeks had past, Oliver and I became good friends, and then became lovers. Another day had past again and June 02 came, my father died due to multiple complications. The doctors in the hospital cannot revive him anymore. When I heard the horrible news, my knees went week and I can’t even breathe. It’s as if my world turned up-side-down. When my father died, my world was shattered into pieces and darkness fall all over the place.
Oliver was the first person I turned into during the darkest days of my life. He was the one who cheered me up, put sunshine on my face, brought light to my path and he let me be, just me. He is the only person I can talk to and he gave me a comforting shoulder to cry on. He was there at the right place at the right time. He comforted me and listened to my endless sulking and crying.
THE FIRST MONTH
Our first month as a couple, it is full of tears and sadness and crying due to my fathers’ death. But Oliver made me believe that when God closes one door, He always make sure to open a window. Though I can still remember the tragic death of my father, Oliver made sure that I’ll never cry again as long as he is there. And even though he is presently working in a government firm, He promised that he’ll be there to put smiles on my face even in his busy schedule.
When we celebrated our first month, Oliver gave me a card with a note saying: “I thank the Lord for your care, understanding, thoughtfulness, sincerity and for being around always. Your smile and your helping hand filled my life with happiness. With you I truly found a perfect treasure (love), and with you I am happy in whatever path it may take.” After reading the letter, I burst in tears as my knees went week, as if it melted like an ice. Yeah! Cliché for it has been used and re-used a lot of times, but Oliver is the sweetest thing on earth that I can’t help myself but adore him even more.
CAPPING AND PINNING
I don’t know what’s with this guy but he likes giving me surprises. During my Capping and Pinning Ceremony, Oliver didn’t go to work. He accompanied me at school and celebrated the event with me. After the celebration, we went straight home. When I was about to change my shirt, and when I opened the door to my room, I found a bouquet of red, yellow, pink and white roses lying in my bed with a note saying: “congratulations and happy 2nd month”, Isn’t that sweet?
THE PILLOW
I never really like cartoon characters such as tweety bird, hello kitty and tazmanian devil and things like that. Maybe because I have grown tired watching those teenage girls who wears tee-shirts and put those things that as their accessories. But Spongebob Squarepants is a different story. My nephew Blixt loves to watch Spongebob Squarepants on nickelodeon. I, myself had become an avid fan too. The sweetest thing is that, I never imagined Oliver, sending me Spongebob pillows and a fan that has Spongebob prints on it. He gave that as his gift for our third month as a couple, and I just couldn’t ask for more.
THE DATES
Oliver and I both loved to eat. We often dine out and find good food in every not-so-fancy restaurant in the city. He loves to eat spicy food and I love sweets. He loves to eat “dinuguan” which I don’t eat at all. Ironic isn’t it? We have this huge difference with food preference, but still we dine out as often as we both have time, we bond through food and surely loving it.
THE “EX’s”
C’mon, most of you will agree with me if I’ll say that Oliver is not that good looking anymore, most especially now that he has come to an age where “pa-cute” effects are not “in” and his taste has improved and matured. Yeah! He dresses and he smells really good. He knows how to mix-and-match his clothes and is very specific to brands. Well, let’s face it --- “it’s a guy thing”
But I don’t know what’s with this guy that his ex’s couldn’t help them selves but flirt with him and even trying their very best to win his heart “again” (Pardon me for using such distractive words, but I guess there no perfect word than that alone).
It’s not only once nor twice that Oliver and I ended up having sleepless nights arguing about his ex-girlfriends who constantly text him and send him sweet nothings which makes my blood boils and reached up to 100 degrees Celsius. Call it attacked of the paranoia, jealousy and whatever, yeah! I am jealous… who in their right mind wouldn’t right?
Who would want to see their boyfriend flirt with his ex - girlfriend? I mean, I have nothing against those ex – girlfriends who makes friends with their ex – boyfriends, but if the girl sends sweet nothings and send text messages which caries the thought of “love is lovelier the second time around” well, hello??? That’s not normal anymore, nor possible. Right?
4TH MONTH
Oliver and I never celebrated our forth month together. It is because he has been diagnosed with things that are so complicated that it’ll take too much time if I’ll explain further and he was confined in the hospital again. I often visit him in the hospital even though it is miles away. Miles didn’t set my heart away from him. I long for his presence everyday. I missed the talks that we used to have, the hugs and the kisses and all those murmurs and constant exchange of sweet nothings, I miss those moments we spend together.
It’s so sad that we didn’t have enough time to celebrate our 4th month as a couple since he was continuously having therapy and I was so darn busy with the out of town hospital duties and all those necessary things I need to accomplish before I am able to relax.
The nicest thing is that Oliver didn’t miss the chance to text me. He sent me sweet message saying how much he loves me and how much he misses me and how he long to be back the soonest possible and he also said how sorry he was for being away and for making things so tough and so rough between us.
5TH MONTH
On our fifth month together, we didn’t celebrate it the usual way. No fancy date. No candle lit dinner. No senseless talk. We just savored the moment that we’re together. Life seems perfect even without those fancy things, even without fancy gifts. We’re just totally happy that we’re together and we loved each other dear truly. No hesitations. No questions asked.
BLAST LIKE A BOMB
I woke up one Tuesday morning feeling so right and good. But fate has been unkind and not all good things are meant to last, for life isn’t always a bed of roses.
Oliver sent me a text message saying that he wanted to call it quits, that he is so darn sorry for messing up with our relationship. He said that there’s no third party involved but he just fall-out- of-love and he is not happy anymore.
As I’ve read his text message again and again, I just can’t help but cry and sulk in tears. God! It was like a bomb that instantly blasts in front of my face. I don’t know what went wrong. Why love has gone? Why he left me all alone? I’m so torn and so shattered in pieces. I’m so lost and I really don’t know what to do.
What will my life gonna be without him beside me? We used to dream big together, and now that he is gone, what will I do? What will future be without him? How can I live my life without him, if he means everything to me? He used to be my source of strength and happiness, now that he’s gone, what will I do?
I’ve been crying for several nights now. I’ve tried my very best to divert my attention to a more meaningful and lighter way and somehow, I wished and prayed that even for a moment I will forget what happen between us.
I did my very best to win him back, I’ve begged and cried but fate has been totally unkind. He doesn’t want me back anymore. He has set me free and now I’m lost and I just couldn’t find myself. He locked his heart and threw the key in a place where it is so rare to find it again.
QUESTIONS
As you read this blog, you might ask questions like: why did he have to do that? Why now that he needed her most and she needed him most? As a writer, there are a lot of things I wished to share to you about this article that I am writing but I just couldn’t because I, myself can’t even find exact answers to my endless questions.
What I only understand for now is that Oliver wanted to have time and space for himself, a moment to be alone and think things over. Though it’s hard for me to set him free because I couldn’t find the exact reason to do so, I don’t have any choice at all. It’s hard because, I never loved somebody the way I loved him.
The story begins with a simple hello, and ends with a heartbreaking goodbye.
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