i just had my exam (review practice exam) on Fundamentals of Nursing earlier this day, it went good as far as i can say, i got an average score for my exam. so fair enough, i was eating my lunch and i was thinking about the oddest thing in my life. its sad to realize that im eating something delicious and yet im not enjoying the food that im eating. the sad part is that im only eating my lunch for my stomach consumption.
there's a lot of things in life that is sad.
a certain friend told me that it ain't easy living life alone. i agree with her. i have this very weird attitude that i like to be alone, introvert / extrovert at the same time. and i just cant explain how it collided into one. i used to think that i can live life alone even without any company, but i failed. i once had an experience, during the first week of the review, and my elder sister (ate jing2) and a friend (belyn) left me alone in the pad because they have to go back to Tagum (our small city) to arrange important things at school. so, i was there in the pad with no one else but the cat who lives with us (Belyn adopted the cat, i guess its a stray, yet clean cat).
i hate eating meals alone, i always let somebody sat in front or beside me when i eat, and yet, i cant get over the fact that i ate breakfast, lunch and dinner alone and even slept at night alone. with no television and no internet connection and i was saying to myself, Holy God, what the heck is this life? i cant be like this for the rest of my life. it wont be fair, theres no fun in it and it feels like life is empty. so i sent an SMS to Belyn to come back to the pad the soonest possible.
she went back to the pad the day after.
so this day, when ate jing and belyn decided to go back tagum, i was thinking, history cant repeat it self, i wont allow that to happen again, so i decided to went back home and kiss my nephews and hug them very tight. and oh yeah.. i miss them most. i also missed my smelly, dustful room. hahaha... (ate jing2 and i teased each other stinky and fatso.. waaaa.. taking that from the movie casper).
early this month, a friend told me that she and her boyfriend called it quits. for what reason i asked, and there was silent. she doesnt know how to explain it, and just said, they guy broke up with her because he fell out of love. and i was like, just like that? ok. for me, thats a fair and valid reason. love can be learned but it can never be forced. but at least, someone deserves some explanation. a more valid reason to justify the actions.
i once had an experience, i broke up with a certain boyfriend and i was like saying, im sorry, it wont work out though i thought it would, i tried my very best to love you but i failed, i love you then but i fell out of love because im tired of having a stagnant - childish relationship. i did love you with all my heart and yet i didnt realize when it ended. i know theres no such things as "third party" as i made my decision, im saying this because i am not happy with this relationship anymore. i dont want to be unfair to you and most especially to my self, we deserve someone else whose much better and much more worth it, much more worth taking risk. its sad but i have to say goodbye.
so that ends it. if you read closely and intently, most words and lines are just cliche, maybe youve heard it from your past experiences and you said that to your love ones when you once broke up with them. its funny as i read that above this line, but it all came from my heart. but the bottom line is that, isnt that sad when someone broke up with you and yet you were left alone and you felt like waking up one morning and finding yourself looking at the ceiling and asking yourself, huh? is it over? how did it all ended? when did it even started? and feeling like, what? that fast? then youre left alone crying as you finished figuring things out. thats sad.
last week, i was facing this same computer and i was like writing something on the "BULLETIN" of friendster, as i ended it, i was like, oh... this is nice, ill post this to my blog too. i was about to copy paste it and the stupid cursor moved to the word: CUT and i clicked it. waaaa.. i dont know what to think anymore. i feel like shouting and i feel like crying, what i did was, put off the computer and went to my bed and sleep. thats sad right?
as the review yesterday ended, the reviewer said something worth thinking, he said: to pass the local board exam, abstain from something bad. something evil. pray. pray. pray. pray. everything will be set in the right place at the right time.
as i studied last night for my exam early this morning, i prayed intently and guess what? miracles happen. i took the exam very light heartedly. with confidence and as i rode the bus late this afternoon, i said to myself, all i needed is to study with all my heart
and put the rest to God. He is always ready to listen and all we needed to do is ask.
speaking of miracle, belyns' aunt was hospitalized for 3 weeks now. she was experiencing chest pain, she is diagnosed of having hypertension and i guess it worsen this time, as she CT scan result stated, she has about 20ML of fluid in her lungs and a cyst in the liver, due to hypertension, she cant just easily undergo an operation because of the fluctuating ratio of her blood pressure.
i was with belyn the whole weekend (sat and sun) i was just there accompanying her while the only son of her aunt was roaming around the city looking for money to pay the hospital bills and the expensive medicines. that saturday night, theres that prescribed medicine which belyn have to buy for her aunt, it cost much and belyn dont have that enough money on hand to buy that medicine, so we were like confused and was thinking over if we buy the medicine or not since it'll be for the next mornings dose.
so we asked help and help cant be found. i was talking to someone else over the phone and belyn have to go to the first floor to buy the medicine needed, after the phone call, i went down to check if shes still ok but belyn is nowhere to find, i was intently looking at her and i got tired and then someone else called out from my back, i turned around and saw belyn walk out from the chapel, and i was like, oh... there she is. so we went up stairs, straight to the Mindanao heart center where belyns' aunt was confined, with no medicine on our hand, we slept at 12 midnight and since DMC (davao medical hospital) is a public hospital, we slept on the floor in a room located inside the heart center, the size of the room was just enough to fit one bathroom. with no other choice and we didnt complain, we slept soundly.
as the morning begins, 4am as the clock reads, belyn has to stand and do the bed bath (shampoo on bed) and belyn notice that the medicine which is combined with a dextrose is discontinued. that medicine is intended for a patient with hypertension to decrease the blood pressure. as belyn read the monitoring sheet of her aunt, it stated that for the past hour, the blood pressure was stable and with in the normal level. so it is appropriate to discontinue the medicine so that it wont lead to hypotension (as the side effect of drug overdose).
if we brought that medicine from the pharmacy and it ended that it is not used, it cannot be returned. God's miracle. its amazing isn't it?
ill end this with a this thoughts:
keep on believing and never stopped praying. God will listen. God will provide, all we needed was to ask and ask whole heartedly.
July 25, 2007
there's a lot of things in life that is sad.
a certain friend told me that it ain't easy living life alone. i agree with her. i have this very weird attitude that i like to be alone, introvert / extrovert at the same time. and i just cant explain how it collided into one. i used to think that i can live life alone even without any company, but i failed. i once had an experience, during the first week of the review, and my elder sister (ate jing2) and a friend (belyn) left me alone in the pad because they have to go back to Tagum (our small city) to arrange important things at school. so, i was there in the pad with no one else but the cat who lives with us (Belyn adopted the cat, i guess its a stray, yet clean cat).
i hate eating meals alone, i always let somebody sat in front or beside me when i eat, and yet, i cant get over the fact that i ate breakfast, lunch and dinner alone and even slept at night alone. with no television and no internet connection and i was saying to myself, Holy God, what the heck is this life? i cant be like this for the rest of my life. it wont be fair, theres no fun in it and it feels like life is empty. so i sent an SMS to Belyn to come back to the pad the soonest possible.
she went back to the pad the day after.
so this day, when ate jing and belyn decided to go back tagum, i was thinking, history cant repeat it self, i wont allow that to happen again, so i decided to went back home and kiss my nephews and hug them very tight. and oh yeah.. i miss them most. i also missed my smelly, dustful room. hahaha... (ate jing2 and i teased each other stinky and fatso.. waaaa.. taking that from the movie casper).
early this month, a friend told me that she and her boyfriend called it quits. for what reason i asked, and there was silent. she doesnt know how to explain it, and just said, they guy broke up with her because he fell out of love. and i was like, just like that? ok. for me, thats a fair and valid reason. love can be learned but it can never be forced. but at least, someone deserves some explanation. a more valid reason to justify the actions.
i once had an experience, i broke up with a certain boyfriend and i was like saying, im sorry, it wont work out though i thought it would, i tried my very best to love you but i failed, i love you then but i fell out of love because im tired of having a stagnant - childish relationship. i did love you with all my heart and yet i didnt realize when it ended. i know theres no such things as "third party" as i made my decision, im saying this because i am not happy with this relationship anymore. i dont want to be unfair to you and most especially to my self, we deserve someone else whose much better and much more worth it, much more worth taking risk. its sad but i have to say goodbye.
so that ends it. if you read closely and intently, most words and lines are just cliche, maybe youve heard it from your past experiences and you said that to your love ones when you once broke up with them. its funny as i read that above this line, but it all came from my heart. but the bottom line is that, isnt that sad when someone broke up with you and yet you were left alone and you felt like waking up one morning and finding yourself looking at the ceiling and asking yourself, huh? is it over? how did it all ended? when did it even started? and feeling like, what? that fast? then youre left alone crying as you finished figuring things out. thats sad.
last week, i was facing this same computer and i was like writing something on the "BULLETIN" of friendster, as i ended it, i was like, oh... this is nice, ill post this to my blog too. i was about to copy paste it and the stupid cursor moved to the word: CUT and i clicked it. waaaa.. i dont know what to think anymore. i feel like shouting and i feel like crying, what i did was, put off the computer and went to my bed and sleep. thats sad right?
as the review yesterday ended, the reviewer said something worth thinking, he said: to pass the local board exam, abstain from something bad. something evil. pray. pray. pray. pray. everything will be set in the right place at the right time.
as i studied last night for my exam early this morning, i prayed intently and guess what? miracles happen. i took the exam very light heartedly. with confidence and as i rode the bus late this afternoon, i said to myself, all i needed is to study with all my heart
and put the rest to God. He is always ready to listen and all we needed to do is ask.
speaking of miracle, belyns' aunt was hospitalized for 3 weeks now. she was experiencing chest pain, she is diagnosed of having hypertension and i guess it worsen this time, as she CT scan result stated, she has about 20ML of fluid in her lungs and a cyst in the liver, due to hypertension, she cant just easily undergo an operation because of the fluctuating ratio of her blood pressure.
i was with belyn the whole weekend (sat and sun) i was just there accompanying her while the only son of her aunt was roaming around the city looking for money to pay the hospital bills and the expensive medicines. that saturday night, theres that prescribed medicine which belyn have to buy for her aunt, it cost much and belyn dont have that enough money on hand to buy that medicine, so we were like confused and was thinking over if we buy the medicine or not since it'll be for the next mornings dose.
so we asked help and help cant be found. i was talking to someone else over the phone and belyn have to go to the first floor to buy the medicine needed, after the phone call, i went down to check if shes still ok but belyn is nowhere to find, i was intently looking at her and i got tired and then someone else called out from my back, i turned around and saw belyn walk out from the chapel, and i was like, oh... there she is. so we went up stairs, straight to the Mindanao heart center where belyns' aunt was confined, with no medicine on our hand, we slept at 12 midnight and since DMC (davao medical hospital) is a public hospital, we slept on the floor in a room located inside the heart center, the size of the room was just enough to fit one bathroom. with no other choice and we didnt complain, we slept soundly.
as the morning begins, 4am as the clock reads, belyn has to stand and do the bed bath (shampoo on bed) and belyn notice that the medicine which is combined with a dextrose is discontinued. that medicine is intended for a patient with hypertension to decrease the blood pressure. as belyn read the monitoring sheet of her aunt, it stated that for the past hour, the blood pressure was stable and with in the normal level. so it is appropriate to discontinue the medicine so that it wont lead to hypotension (as the side effect of drug overdose).
if we brought that medicine from the pharmacy and it ended that it is not used, it cannot be returned. God's miracle. its amazing isn't it?
ill end this with a this thoughts:
keep on believing and never stopped praying. God will listen. God will provide, all we needed was to ask and ask whole heartedly.
July 25, 2007
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