Sunday, May 24, 2009

Butterfly

i always believe that we cannot have everything in life and that life's great satisfaction is not based on material things. i am, at the moment, clueless. for some obvious reasons, i have been constantly praying for this. to pass the local and proceed to what ever leads my way. but i was also struck with the truth that from now on, i will be on my own, making my own decision and providing for my own personal needs. i will have the best in life if i do good in what ever decision i make from time to time. failing is the greatest risk.
i don't know if there's such thing as the parable of the butterfly, but i will make one for myself. it will always be a struggle for me to live life to the fullest. as young as 22, i have experienced loads of tragedies, been dumped, felt unwanted, felt insecure, lost a father, criticized by people who don't know me, looked down by those who're far more well off, crucified for being straight forward and out casted for every decisions i failed to make and yet, after all these i have survived.
i have always been a dreamer and one of those numerous dreams is to work for the military, serve the country and all those critical stuff i want to try on. i have also dreamed of becoming one of those who sets there masculinity aside and fly a big bird like they're floating kites. yeah, dreams. what happened to the dream of becoming a Lawyer? oh well, it'll always be just the same, after all the hard work and stuffs' to do on first hand, i will send my self to the coolest Law School in the Philippines, but all of these will be set aside first.
clueless and all, i am down with the few remaining days of being able to write on my 360 page, for the next month will be another battle for truth and knowledge. i will be sending myself to another review center for another exam and my long over due plans will be frozen in time.
so whats the connection between all this and the parable of the butterfly?
like a beautiful free butterfly traveling from one harmless flower to another, i myself started as a simple caterpillar eating leaves and living life as far normal as possible. just like every caterpillar, i have come to a point where there's a need for me to transform into a more beautiful life and therefor, i hid myself under a covering safety sheet which will protect me for the next months as i become a cocoon. after heavy storm and strong wind, the day came where i was left with no choice but to come out in the open for i have come to my full maturity and there, i started to spread my wings and flew to the highest point. i soared high and reached the fulfillment of every caterpillars' dream.
bottom line is that: all things comes in handy if we work hard and aim for it. time will lead us to our own path and designated destiny if we are patient enough to wait and work for it. my journey as a free butterfly has just begun and the travel is not as sweet as everyone thought it would be. there will always be humps and bumps and the need for better security will always be in crises.
i am not a full pledge mature being, knowing that i am immature in so many ways andi know that matter-of-fact. but from time to time, i will be there to face every challenge for mistakes will always be there, just a trigger away.
"ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE TO THEM THAT BELIEVED" as stated by our prayer at the review center. true enough.

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