it was one cold night and i was sleeping soundly at my sister's bed when about 5 o'clock in the morning, i heard my phone rang. it was a familiar tune that made my whole body system awake. i knew who the caller was. it was him.
it was a short talk that started and ended with: "nangungumusta lang". it was one friendly yet heart-warming call that made my heart skip a beat. it was one peep talk that made me wanna freeze time and just save that chance for that one special moment.
then he said he is sick and is presently at the hospital getting treatments. i was speechless for a moment or two and i was caught off guard. what went wrong i asked, the next thing i knew, i was in tears. he told me to stop crying for he will be okay, even said that he once went through the same situation and he survived, God knows he still will this time and i believed him. he is a strong man after all, always brave and ready to conquer life's great challenges.
behind the laughters lies a wounded and tired soul. tired of the battles that seemed endless for him. the jokes are just front to hide the real emotions that are burning inside him. he kept on telling me that he hates drinking medicines and is tired of the seemingly endless treatments and kept on saying that if it is his time, no one can stop that. not even the doctors or the medicines.
as the emotion grew stronger. i was there, feeling so helpless. what can i say? nursing school taught me to give out empathy and never sympathy. i am lost for words as i struggle not to sound so emotionally hooked. i know i looked so dumb and pretty stupid as i talk to him. but that was it.
he sang a 3 line song then the call ended. my tears seemed endless. i closed my eyes and prayed hard. even made a bargain to God, that if ever He cures him, i can surrender my license. then for a while, i stopped and said, okay God, the bargain is off --- i need my license so that i can come and be with him where ever he is and just stay with him for a while and help him with his needs and nurse him. then i sigh deeply.
i prayed deeply --- and i gave up everything to God. i know He wont gave him burden he cannot carry. God will always provide i believe. he has the faith, he has the will, he needs hope to carry on with his struggles.
i cried because i dont know how and what to feel. he is alone and he is far. miles away from his family, struggling to stay alive, keeping to be strong in a battle between life and death.
i never appreciated a small peep talk the way i do now. it was simple, short but sincere. it is more of heart talking than minds.
by the way it looks now? we are friends. just friends. no extra something. no extra spark. no extra fancy thing. just platonic friendship (at least for him). all i know is that 2 years ago, he was special and nothing has changed now that he knew how i really feel for him.
2 years ago? i loved him deep and silently. i still do now. even more than the emotions i have had for him 2 years ago.
if anyone could read this, please pray for him. he is my friend. he is sick and he needs our prayer. God will listen and God will always provide. God will heal him.
it was a short talk that started and ended with: "nangungumusta lang". it was one friendly yet heart-warming call that made my heart skip a beat. it was one peep talk that made me wanna freeze time and just save that chance for that one special moment.
then he said he is sick and is presently at the hospital getting treatments. i was speechless for a moment or two and i was caught off guard. what went wrong i asked, the next thing i knew, i was in tears. he told me to stop crying for he will be okay, even said that he once went through the same situation and he survived, God knows he still will this time and i believed him. he is a strong man after all, always brave and ready to conquer life's great challenges.
behind the laughters lies a wounded and tired soul. tired of the battles that seemed endless for him. the jokes are just front to hide the real emotions that are burning inside him. he kept on telling me that he hates drinking medicines and is tired of the seemingly endless treatments and kept on saying that if it is his time, no one can stop that. not even the doctors or the medicines.
as the emotion grew stronger. i was there, feeling so helpless. what can i say? nursing school taught me to give out empathy and never sympathy. i am lost for words as i struggle not to sound so emotionally hooked. i know i looked so dumb and pretty stupid as i talk to him. but that was it.
he sang a 3 line song then the call ended. my tears seemed endless. i closed my eyes and prayed hard. even made a bargain to God, that if ever He cures him, i can surrender my license. then for a while, i stopped and said, okay God, the bargain is off --- i need my license so that i can come and be with him where ever he is and just stay with him for a while and help him with his needs and nurse him. then i sigh deeply.
i prayed deeply --- and i gave up everything to God. i know He wont gave him burden he cannot carry. God will always provide i believe. he has the faith, he has the will, he needs hope to carry on with his struggles.
i cried because i dont know how and what to feel. he is alone and he is far. miles away from his family, struggling to stay alive, keeping to be strong in a battle between life and death.
i never appreciated a small peep talk the way i do now. it was simple, short but sincere. it is more of heart talking than minds.
by the way it looks now? we are friends. just friends. no extra something. no extra spark. no extra fancy thing. just platonic friendship (at least for him). all i know is that 2 years ago, he was special and nothing has changed now that he knew how i really feel for him.
2 years ago? i loved him deep and silently. i still do now. even more than the emotions i have had for him 2 years ago.
if anyone could read this, please pray for him. he is my friend. he is sick and he needs our prayer. God will listen and God will always provide. God will heal him.
No comments:
Post a Comment